It has been over a year since I last posted to this blog and I miss it. I miss the outlet of finishing a thought. I am on Facebook, but I do not get the thrill with just a simple post. I also do not ant to use my Facebook page as a way to convey my most serious thoughts, I simply like to use Facebook as a way to bring lightness to my world. It is so easy to be hurt via social media, especially for someone who is not all that social in real life. I will not lie to you world, I have been hurt by some of those closest to me and as it took me a while to figure out it is up to me to determine the level of forgiveness. I will only say I am right in my own mind and I own my own mind. I will not be swayed just because it would be popular or the right thing to do. Due to life's lessons I have decided what is most important to me and what I am willing and unwilling to compromise with.
I first want to apologize unilaterally across the board if I have ever hurt you, but I will not apologize for choosing my happiness and my own self worth over your agenda. I am re-launching my blog for 2014. In 2013 I turned 40 and for the first time in my life I felt that I knew who I was. I was able to look at myself in the mirror and ask myself.......... What do you want? I am still determining the answers to this question that opens doors inside my mind, soul and heart. I have also turned the question around and examined what I don't want and as usual the easy answers are sometimes the hardest to implement. I lost myself for a time after my Dad died and I truly didn't know what to do with aspects of my own being, someone I was growing not to like very much. Turning 40 really opened my eyes not only to eek! I'm 40, but also to how do I want to live the other half of my life. I knew I didn't want to be the person I was and so I started to really go inside myself and look at everything, explore all my feelings and really determine who am I, where am I going and what do I want?
This is where I am and I hope to share with you my journey. I promise to be open, honest and most of all me. Sometimes it is so easy to just keep on going, but then are you really excited to get there? I want to be excited with where I am going. Something's are going to change, I look forward to the journey, my closest friends and family will be a long for the ride.
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